Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
