If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
