...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
