He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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