it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
