everyone is single if you try hard enough
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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