Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
