She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
