Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
