if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
