no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
