You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
