He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
