My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
