You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
