I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
