my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
