I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
