you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
