I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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