Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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