if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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