Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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