i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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