google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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