The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
