for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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