ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
