The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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