There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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