i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
