Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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