Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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