I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
