He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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