marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
