HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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