a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
