therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
