another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
