I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
