ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
