there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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