oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
