Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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