are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
