you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
