The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
