Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
