Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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